I have several more stories to post. If you don't see yours, don't worry. If you want to send me one of your experiences with ambien or people on it, I would love to post it. Directions are here.
As a result of chronic insomnia, and combined with some of the heavy-duty psychotropic medications I take, my doctor had me on ambien CR for about a year. It seemed to work okay for a while, but lately it's started getting scary. I've had telephone conversations when I'm asleep. I've written blog posts and status updates on facebook when I'm asleep. I've waken up in the morning to find that I'd eaten a whole box of cookies in my sleep. I ate half a pizza in my sleep. It's terrifying. There's nothing like waking up in the morning and being told you talked to someone the night before, and you can't remember a lick of it.
My husband travels a lot for business, and we have two dogs. The big dog can make it through the night without having to go outside, but the little dog can't. The little dog also has a very persisent whimper that cannot be ignored. I can't tell you how many times I have gotten up in the morning to find my back door standing wide open. Apparently I'd gotten up during the night to let the little dog out, opened the back door and left it open and went back to bed. Our back yard is against a busy street. It's truly scary.
I can't tell you how many times I've been asked "Who did this?" or "Who got this out and left it out?" or "Who ate all the (whatever)?" when there was only one person it could have been. We have come to blame it all on the mythical leprechaun that hides behind the dryer and steals at least one sock out of every load.
There was one time I was asked, "What day did I get back from Texas?"
"UMMMmm.... You never went to Texas."
"Ha ha. Seriously, when did I get back?"
"Babe, you never went."
"Whatever! I hate it when you do this. I'll call my sister and ask her."
And that is during the day after the crap had worn off.
God Bless. Have a great weekend!
38 comments:
Perhaps you guys should stop posting these stories. It backs up the fact that you do not remember your Ambien-induced hallucinations.
Have you gotten religious now? God Bless on every post since the Crystal mess???
@Stacy
This is MY blog. I should post what I want to. It backs up the fact that I don't remember "Ambien-induced hallucinations" that I never had???
@Dee
Always been religious, and it hasn't been on every post since. Just the ones where I send my love out to people that have been affected by the stuff. I wish that God would bless them like he has us.
I would like to propose that when you post these ambien stories that you also, somewhere easily visable, post that anyone experiencing problems or issues with their medications immediately seek medical attention from a qualified physician or their local emergency room. IMHO if something good is to come from all of this it might be that you reach a person who needs to hear, 'hey this has happened to me too' and that they get the push they need to go back to their doctor for help. Ambien is not a cure all and too often people do not seek additional medical attention because they feel it's though they have failed and not the medication. Just a little food for thought.
What I'm interested in finding out is can ambien be taken in smaller doses so that you don't have to experience the nasty side affects? It seems like it is grossly overdosed.
My heart goes out to anybody who has experienced these scary side affects. Both the people taking it and their loved ones have horrible repercussions from this med.
I love how you can not be anonymous, yet still manage to be anonymous.
Sheesh.
I have no experience in these areas, and that story sounds scary to me.
Blessings come to those that accept them, but when your heart and soul are filled with hate, there is no room for God. Sadness...
Wishing the McKnob's a Happy Turkey Day!!
I love how the trolls decide to pick on one victim and just continue to torture these poor people.
Chris, May God continue to bless you and your family. I love that you are spreading the word of how horrible Ambien is. Too many are suffering, and nobody seems to want to change it. Crystal is an amazing woman. She has been through the ringer, and she continues to put herself out there. Everyone makes bad choices (even you trolls out there), and she always seems to triumph even if it takes her awhile. After all, she found an amazing, understanding husband. Continue to do what you BOTH do, you are incredible people.
Um...I would email you to ask this question but my email has my full name on it and I don't feel like making a whole new email just to ask this question...but did Crystal give up blogging? When I try and go to her blog it says the requested URL was not found on this server...
I hate to get into a big ole religious conversation, but, how can you say you have been blessed? You and Crystal have got to be some of the most unlucky people I have ever seen. Health issues, mental issues, infidelity issues, I could go on. But this is just stuff I have read on your blog(s), its hard to know if any of what we read is true. Thats the gamble you take when you read blogs, you never really know what is true or what is fiction.
BTW, yes you are blessed with beautiful children, that is a given. No need to go there.
Every story you've linked mentions how the person suffering from the Ambien-related effects had NO MEMORY of what they did while under the influence of the drug. Yet Crystal magically has a completely different experience wherein she completely remembers every single detail of what she thinks took place that night. At what point do you realize that the information you are actively searching out and posting on your blog actually CONTRADICTS what Crystal says happened? You'd really help her more at this point if you'd just drop the whole thing and lay low for a while. Seriously. I mean Crystal no harm, I've enjoyed her blog. I was looking forward to seeing how the reunion with her son went...but you're not doing her any favors. You guys need to take a break from this issue.
@Dee
I really hope that you don't think this blog tells more than 5% of our daily life. If you read hers and have read mine, you will see that they are entirely different. We are blessed; the bad luck must be something you read on her blog. Some things that happen in life suck. They can get you down to where you don't really feel like getting out of the house. Guess what's in the house! The computer is right there and you have something on your brain that you may feel like sharing. I can see where you are coming from a little bit but it is in NO way a reflection of real life. You only see what is put out there for you to se.
@mpret
If you pay attention to MY blog, you will see that I ask people so post their stories, NOT dreams. Dreams are very common and most of the time ludicrous. Even people that aren’t on ambien have dreams, or at they should, and posting peoples dreams would be about as interesting to me as posting about what they see on their drive to work. It simply doesn’t interest me. There is a place for people to post dreams but it isn’t here. Besides, you have probably seen first hand what posting dreams and hallucinations can do if you read Crystal’s blog. As far as stories go, I have been on both ends of ambien but most of my experiences have been in the form of observation and I find it interesting that it affects other people in the same ways. If my blog offends you or makes you feel uneasy, remember that YOU make the choice to come here. I’m going to do here what I please and what I find interesting. As far a contradicting her, I really don’t know what you are talking about. Every relationship has two sides. I disagree with her all the time. However, if I have contradicted myself, please make me aware so I may offer clarification.
People have to realize that this is MY blog. I am not blogging to do Crystal any favors. What happens with her blog is in her hands. She may comment on here but she has no influence in my opinions or actions. While the ambient stories are a result of what happened to my wife, I am not doing it for her. Call me selfish but I really like hearing the crazy things that other people have done. And since the stories are anonymous, some of them could be mine and you never know it.
That was a general 'you', not you in particular.
I think what people are trying to say is that the stories you are posting don't support Crystal's Ambien experience in any way. The stories you are posting are of memory loss. Crystal's story is of hallucination. *If* you are trying to show that someone on Ambien could experience what Crystal did, you are not accomplishing that with the stories you've posted.
Of course, if you are just posting stories to show that Ambien can screw with your head, you're succeeding. If that's your only objective, you've ended up confusing people who think you're trying to demonstrate the plausibility of Crystal's story.
@ Jenn
I am not trying to support Crystal’s experience in any way. I am supporting mine. It must be really hard for some people to realize that this blog is from MY pov, not hers. I don’t have her hallucinations and I don’t space out. However, I do deal with someone that has hallucinations and does stuff that she never remembers doing.
As far as making something believable, people are going to believe what they want to believe. Crystal still has a hard time believing that she didn’t do some of the things that she thinks she has done, and believing some of the things I’ve told her she done. Just the other day she wanted to watch an episode of “HOUSE M.D.” that we had already seen. I had to sit through it again because she never remembers watching it. I never watch that show by myself because I would hate to have to watch it twice. (as I had to do anyway) She believes that I watched that particular one without her.
The situation that happened the night she got locked up was had little to nothing to do with what she said it did. She was quite literally crazy then. You don’t have to believe me but it’s a fact. That night is burned into my mind because she became something/someone I’d never dealt with before. She said crazy, awful, and very hurtful things to me that I don’t think I can ever let go of. And you know what, she doesn’t remember a thing about it. If you are looking for ways to link the stories with hers, there you go. She doesn’t remember anything that happened past about 9:00 that night. I didn’t make the call until around 3:00 in the morning. She doesn’t remember me dragging her to the tub, giving her a bath, getting her out, dragging her to bed, talking for hours, me making the call then trying to get her dressed before they got there. There are tons of things/details she will probably never know because I don’t want her to feel like I am looking down on her. She doesn’t even remember telling the woman at the hospital that she wanted to go to rehab. I knew she would sober up the next day and everything would be fine but she insisted on going against my will. She STILL blames ME for that. She thinks that I had her locked up. I had her put in the hospital because I knew she wasn’t right but tried like hell to keep her out of rehab. She wasn’t the Crystal I knew.
It’s hard for one to realize the affect of this stuff without ever having dealt with it. People posting their hallucinations have led to nothing but trouble and that’s why I wont do it here. The stories amaze me sometimes.
Chris, I know you know this, but just keep doing what you feel you need to do. I believe that your main goal in posting the Ambien stories has been to help others, but I hope that in some small way it has helped you, too. Screw the trolls, the people that disagree, and the people who see fit to do nothing other than judge you and Crystal. As you've said, this is YOUR blog and YOU have the right to post what YOU want. That's the beauty of the First Amendment. Anyone who doesn't like it, leave.
>>I am not trying to support Crystal’s experience in any way. I am supporting mine. It must be really hard for some people to realize that this blog is from MY pov, not hers.<<
It's not hard for me to understand that this blog is from your point of view. It would be somewhat odd if it wasn't, would it not? I merely pointed out that it appears (from the comments I've read) people believe you are posting the stories to prove that Crystal's experience could have happened, and that the stories don't really do that.
Since you've clarified your stance on that issue, hopefully people will stop riding that train. I wasn't meaning to imply disbelief of your posts; I was simply specifying what I thought was the sticking point behind a lot of these comments.
Just an FYI....neither Chris nor I ever said we had a horrible life or lamented about how unlucky we are. He may feel like he got married to the devil, but I have been very fortunate to have him in my life. He pulls no punches and he forces me to face up to my shortcomings. It pisses me off, sometimes, that he won't defend me when he is sure I'm wrong (and he's usually right), but I also fiercely respect that about him. If I had done the things I thought I did that night, he wouldn't have said shit all about it. He knows I'm a big girl and he would have let me ride it out and suffer the consequences of sharing too much about our personal life.
Oh, the FYI part...ambien wasn't the reason for my hallucinations, in the opinion of my docs at the psych ward. I was also taking xanax, klonopin and cymbalta. I NEVER had hallucinations while taking ambien, just memory loss. It was only when they were combined (and in excess of recommended dosages) that I had very surreal hallucinations or delusions. Just to clear that up. I'm not arguing one way or another, just providing info.
And, yes, my blog is down, indefinitely. A lot people were spot on about one thing...it had become too much of a confessional tool instead of just the light-hearted writing I did before everything went south. I didn't enjoy it any longer, at all. Nor did a lot of people who had been avid supporters. It was time to back away. I'm sorry for that, it seems like a shame, somehow, but it was making my family miserable to see me miserable.
have a great Thanksgiving.
Crystal you shouldn't feel ashamed for doing what you feel is best for your family. I was merely curious as to whether my computer was acting up on me. I'll miss reading your posts but maybe one day you'll be able to enjoy it again :) good luck!
I think you need to clarify that your wife was abusing Ambien. Taking more than what you are prescribed and mixing it with alcohol is prescription abuse, and was not the direction of her doctor.
Also, you mentioned that she had several different scripts from different doctors, and they were not aware of everything she was taking. That is a substance abuse issue, not an issue of the medications being nefarious.
As someone who suffers from extreme anxiety and insomnia, I think Ambien is a God-send. I take one a night (as directed) and I don't mix it with alcohol. I also let any doctor I may go to, know what other medications I may be taking.
I understand that you have been under a lot of duress and that your wife's substance abuse issues have put a lot of stress on your life, but blaming the medication for her abuse is disingenuous at best. Also, one thing a person needs to do to become sober is "mea culpa" and own up to the mistakes they have made while under the influence. They may not have made these mistakes while sober, however, it was their choice to impair themselves. What I see from you and Crystal is a lot of excuse making, back pedaling and dancing around the issue. You both need to get right with yourselves and God and start taking responsibility for your actions. It's truly the only way to peace and harmony within your souls and marriage.
Take care.
@Katy
It has been established that she was taking more than prescribed and mixing it with alcohol. Again, This blog is MY pov and I'm not sure what point you are trying to make.
Ambien has been a God send at times. I've taken it myself and it affects everyone differently. Even taking the recommended dose has caused her to say and do strange things at times.
Thanks for pointing out that we need to get right with ourselves and God. I guess its hard for people to know that if I don't post about it. Blogs are a hobby, not a diary. We have been to marriage counseling and have started back to church as of months ago.
I think that most people forget that Crystal's post was dated 2 years ago before she went to the nut house. Everything that needs to be owned up to as you said has been owned up to. Again, I dunno where you were going with that unless you feel that owes you something. If that's the case... Sorry, you really DON'T matter when it comes to our lives and of marriage.
I mean that in the nicest way possible.
Take care
Katy,
you're so opinionated about every subject Chris and I write about that I don't think you really READ sometimes...do you not see in my comment where I clearly said I was having hallucinations and delusions after taking my medication IN EXCESS OF THE RECOMMENDED DOSAGE? And did I not say I chose to mix alcohol with it in my original post? Have I not stated, many, many times that I've had all sorts of issues with addiction/alcoholism and that I've created havoc and discord for those I love?
I'm sorry...Chris may be nice about it, and I've tried so hard in most of your comments, but I've had it up to my eyeballs with your hypocritical crap.
You are critical of us, under a transparent guise of being concerned, and that's all fine and good, but you're critical about things we have already sorted out in our own lives. Contrary to popular belief, I DON'T share every waking moment about my family.
I've humored you, more than enough, on my own blog.
I am right with God and you have no business, no right, NO PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH MY FAMILY that would give you the right or insight to imply otherwise.
I've been on Ambien and while it helped at first, it then started with the memory loss and then if I would just have a drink or 2 with dinner then realy craziness would start.
Each person blogs for their own reasons, and when it is time to quit or take a break, you need to do it. The majority of people reading someone's blog doesn't know the writer nor have a relationship with them. Let the writer live their life and do what is best for them. If you don't like what the blogger is saying, you don't have to read it. Take it off your feeds and go on with your life.
Chris, I think it is great what you are doing with the ambien stories. It helps people to see that they are not alone.
Crystal, I enjoyed reading your blog. Thank you for writing for so long.
I see the trolls are attempting to sneak in here under the guise of concern and 'good Christian spirit'. Watch out McKnobs, you can see the wolves in sheeps' clothing better than anyone else.
Everyone makes mistakes, and I believe that Mr. and Mrs. McKnob own up to them as best they can and then try to explain them. But some people always want to take the explanations and twist them into something else. It reminds me of arguing with a slightly delusional 'friend' that was controlling and borderline abusive.
Hey Chris, I'm a Crystal supporter, even though I rarely comment on her blog. We have been through a lot of similar things and I feel like I understand her better than most people.
I'm so glad she found someone like you to love her! Thank you for that.
The reason I'm commenting here is because I can't get on Crystals blog and I tried emailing her, but I figure she needs a break.
I spent the ENTIRE weekend looking into this chickenliver bitch. It's not hard to even find her real name, she's been a troll to some high power bloggers.
Please, please do NOT let this psychopath and her league of psychopaths hurt your family!
Your family is always in my prayers, God Bless you.
Happy Thanksgiving McKnobs! All the best to you and yours. And Crystal? Can't wait till you come back.
I took Ambien IN THE PRESCRIBED DOSAGE and experienced memory loss big time! I e-mailed Mr. McKnob my stories, and my doc changed me to Ambien CR after I complained.
Being unlucky has nothing to do with believing in God, by the way. The McKnob's are blessed in more ways than any of us know. Remember, they are sharing with us what they want us to know.
If anyone (KATY!) wants to judge them on what they share, be prepared for a little backlash. They're telling THEIR stories in THEIR ways.
Warnings of symptoms are necessary only if you're looking at your prescription bottle; not on someone's blog.
Enough of my Monday morning rant.
By the way, could Crystal add me to her 'invite list?'
Cute. Real cute, trolls. If you're going to pretend you're Christians, then you should certainly know Matthew 7:1-6. Not to mention St. Francis of Assisi's "Preach the Gospel; if necessary, use words."
Crystal, the mix of Ambien and Klonopin absolutely horrifies me -- gack! It explains the hallucinations and zombie state nicely, too. Adding in the others and throwing the system depressant in there and I'm glad you're still alive!
Chris, Ambien's some weird stuff, isn't it? I always had better luck with the straight stuff than the CR, except that I woke up as soon as it wore off. The CR makes me have violent PTSD reactions in my sleep the night -after- taking it. Had to relax my brain to allow any hallucinations (and then only ever got them on the regular) but whee! Oddly enough, a very low dose of Ambien (we're talking 2.5mg, 5mg at most) can stop a migraine cold in me.
I find it so (un)funny that ever since Crystal stopped posting that the trolls have shifted their attacks to Chris. They just HAVE to spread misery somewhere, somehow. All I can figure is that their lives are so miserable that they need to feel superior by dumping on someone else. Hump them. (and NOT in the good way).
Hope you & Crystal have a happy Thanksgiving. stay focused on the positive -- keep an eye on the negative stuff so it doesn't get out of control, but believe that the best is yet to come.
I once sent this quote to Crystal, and I think it still applies. I have it printed & framed and refer to it daily:
"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." (Ralph Waldo Emerson)
Hey....I hate to do this on your comment page but I noticed the Crystal's blog is now by invite only. I do not have a blog, but I have read hers for years and now follow yours. I don't know any other way to communicate with her about who she will or will not let read it now. I have never commented before and certainly haven't ever had any negative things to say about her blog. I've really enjoyed it over the years and hope to continue to be able to read it some day. Thanks guys.
I hope Crystal finds her funny bone again someday and resumes writing. In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are with both of you and your family. I will check back often. Have a Happy Thanksgiving!
I have to say I've got a serious MISSING going on for Crystal and her special brand of hilarity. Please send her lots of Austin, TX love and keep some for yourself.
Enjoy your turkey. We (all) have so much to be thankful for this year. If nothing else, that we're still alive to see the beauty in this world.
i'm in the same position as bonnie. ive read her blog for years and was on the subscription list too, i miss reading her writing.. the recent bs going on with chickenliver and her mob is absolutely ridiculous. i hope ya'll have a great thanksgiving :)
I'm with Nickie and Bonnie. I was subscribed to Crystals blag and would love to keep reading. Happy Thanksgiving to your family!!
Chris,
Please have Crystal add me to her invite list. I have been following forever and want to keep reading her blog.
loria.matthews@gmail.com
Thank you
Chris and Crystal,
I'm still doing the "when I think about you, try to remember to pray for you" thing.
As for the "concerned" pseudo-Christians, this has worked for me... "I have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. What part of 'personal' was unclear?" How I interact with God (in all his aspects) all day long is my business (and God's too, I guess).
We are all tasked with "cleaning up" our little corner of the world. Go out of your way to say thank you to someone that needs to hear it. Pray for the people in traffic next to you. You might be the only person that prays for them all day.
Thank you, Mr. Mcknob, for making your blog a bright spot for us. Maybe we should just think of these trolls as bugs drawn to your light. ;)
Hope your family has a great and BLESSED Thanksgiving! And I hope the trolls and naysayers don't....does that make me a bad person? Oh well. (and I'd love to read Crystal again too...just sayin.)
But back on topic...My sister takes Ambien and I mentioned in another comment that she once drove while on it and didn't remember. She never takes it with alcohol and doesn't misuse it, but she's always had hallucinations and memory loss with it....often she remembers things that never happened and forgets things that did. It just does weird crap to people.
Sorry to preempt all the *loving christianity* (someone on poopypants called it christians of convenience *woot*.
Chris, you have a special kind of crazy all your own and I say that in the truly most loving of ways :) but I miss Crystal.... *whimper*. I've emailed, I've begged,..I'm asking here... if she's writing I'll swear an oath not to ever reveal where. :) I just wanna read her again ;)
Bree
Happy Thanksgiving to you all.
Sorry for my post .Where i can watch more info about?
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